Growing up I had a vague idea of what marriage was.. watching all my cousins and other family members get hitched.. i understood marriage as only a glamorous affair with frolicking people lavish clothes and sumptuous foods.
Cut to Year 2008 .. growing up has its hazards.. career.. marriage.. boys.. marriage.. parents... family.... peers.. marriage.. everything pretty much boils down to the "M" word. As I slowly grasped/accepted the concept of marriage into my system, I developed my own ideologies on how this was to work and how I would approach it. To begin with I believed that "arranged marriages" weren't my cup of tea .. for the simple reason that you can never really know a person over a few conversations and make the biggest decision of your life. My idea of marriage was when two people really want to be together, marriage was the culmination of that feeling. But afterall real life isn't what one has planned or imagined it to be.
After some persuasion and coaxing, I finally relented to the process of "arranged marriages"in hope of finding that someone that I could make a life with. While I adjusted to the process of marriage I encountered the tedious modus operandi. The lengthy process that includes exchanging of bio-datas, exchanging of kundlis, exchanging of pictures .. then the "meeting" ... phew!
Too caught up in the dynamics the whole meaning of getting to know someone for who they really are seems to have been completely lost in this process..
Lately I have realized in this kind of a set up being from similar socio-economic backgrounds is quintessential inorder for things to work.. then all other things can be.. should be rated less important. Rigid selection criteria such as good looking, educated, (atleast a post-grad), Wealthy, doing well career wise (not in sales mind you).. all important pointers for selecting your life partners.. Hah! and I thought having a person to love you and support unconditionally, someone whose company you enjoy immensely so much that you can spend the next 50 years together without getting bored ...were the crux of a relationship...
Somehow I feel the whole institution of marriage has been lost in superficialities, societal conformities....and the dynamics of marriage But I still have faith in my beliefs.. and I am sure I'll find what I am looking for..
3 comments:
Stick to your ideas of what you should be looking for, not what people tell you you should do - and you'll find what you want when not looking for it :). For you to visit America shows that you have your own mind - stick to your convictions and things will happen for you. Miss you! :)
ami, first of all i would like to say that this very transparent article .. its awesome .. same thoughts .. same genesis .. same adjustments .. same conformities .. we all face this .. i would just like to add that we (i mean our generation) is driven by external forces and we seldom get freedom to choose what we can rule and strive .. Its like DnB targets .. we've got no say .. but ami, stick on to ur ideals .. dont only look for the right guy but search for him .. best luck .. stay as you are .. pls dont change .. you will remain happy ...
Hahaa..Sooooo ture..
That's why I feel arrange marriage is for unlucky ppl...or rather I should say most of the ppl who go through arrange marriage are not as lucky as those going through love marriage..(Some ppl may find their soulmate after marriage..while others simply do adjustment which I hate)
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